Tuesday, September 15, 2020

The Sleep of Reason: Chapter 1

(Please note that this is an early draft and subject to change.  Any comments, compliments, suggestions and constructive criticisms are welcome.)

    Thunder crashed, and rain poured in torrents upon the figure crossing the boundary between the city of the living and the great mass of crypts and mausoleums.  Shrouded in a gentleman’s greatcoat and top hat, hunched against the wind and rain; all a passerby could discern of the entity within was the single hand, seeming too small for the glove it was encased in, clutching an ornamental cane.  Of course, at this particular time any passersby were purely speculative; all living things having sought shelter hours before.

From under the top hat, eyes pierced the darkness and thick rain with inhuman perception; taking in the extravagant monuments to mortality.  The entity snorted in derision. The human vermin were so desperate for some significance in their short, pointless, lives that they wasted effort and resources just to maintain the illusion that part of them remained behind after death.  It amused him to note the disparity between the luxurious mausoleums and the paupers’ section in a far corner of the cemetery; the inhabitants of the former actually making the claim that even in death they were above all others.

The figure paused to take in one sculpture; a large, stone angel weeping over the dead.  It was a beautiful piece; a slender, nude woman hunched over in grief, her wide, feathered wings spread and her long hair shrouding her face.  The entity smirked in contempt.  He had encountered the beings men called angels before, and they were nothing like the statue.  Even before his current, diminished, state, the creature had found them alien and intimidating.  He chuckled contemptuously thinking of the reaction of the mortals who commissioned the statue coming face to, figurative, face with a real angel.  The statue more resembled one of the forms Mother’s incarnations commonly took when they moved openly amongst the mortals.

Thoughts of Mother immediately raised the familiar old emotions; rage, hatred, fear; and swept away any sense of amusement or appreciation.  Briefly, his eyes flared in a hellish, red light that was visible in the storm.  “One day,” he reminded himself out loud; one day he would make Mother suffer, as he would all who had crossed him.  Suddenly filled with a desire to get the meeting over with, the entity stomped off among the crypts to find his contact.

His inhuman senses probed the darkness for a few minutes until they detected the other individual lurking in the graveyard.  They led him to an area enclosed by the roofs of neighboring crypts, keeping it dry from the rain.  He tried, not entirely successfully, to suppress a surge of irritation when the sound of an infernal being struck made him jump despite his caution and natural gifts.  The match lit a cigarette before falling to the ground and getting stamped out.  A man stepped out of the shadows.

“Lord Richard Thurbin,” the voice spoke Albin with just the slightest trace of a Deutschen accent, “that’s what you’re calling yourself these days, isn’t it?”  The entity that called himself Lord Richard hated that voice.  It was almost always tinged with an amused irony, as if the speaker was appreciating an obscene joke that nobody else got.  It reminded him too much of Mother and her consort.  Lord Richard inhaled and reminded himself that he needed the man’s help for the time being.  There would be plenty of time to indulge his irritation later.

“Doctor Malachai Lewin.” Lord Thurbin paused before spitting out the next eight words. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.” Dr. Lewin stepped from the shadows, a lit cigarette in hand and a smirk on his lips.

He wore a professional class suit, bowler and greatcoat; all of which were clearly well used and well cared for.  Dark eyes glittered from underneath the hat brim, and a neatly trimmed beard curled around the smirking mouth.  A short distance away sat the black bag, never far from his grasp, where the doctor kept most of his tools.    In his other hand he clutched his cane.  Lord Thurbin particularly hated that cane.

It bore a slightly unusual, almost exotic, appearance; a shaft of a smooth, whitish substance which resembled ivory or bone, that ended in a point.  Its handle was a small, perfectly reproduced skull carved out of onyx. The entirety of the cane and handle were intricately carved with elaborate designs; beautiful but meaningless abstracts to most.  However, Lord Thurbin knew that the etchings were occult symbols and powerful wards, the latter made specifically to affect beings like him.  He had been on the wrong end of that cane many times, and could feel the power from the wards where he stood, a good seven feet away.  Dr. Lewin smirked and took a drag on his cigarette.

“Your proposition intrigues me.  I’ve heard rumors of Raven’s Eyre and Cairns mound; and if just a small portion of them are true then there are valuable secrets to be learned.  Also, that you asked me, of all people, for help is equally intriguing.  We’ve never been on the... best, of terms.”  Richard carefully considered his answer.

“I’m in need of your expertise,” he finally replied.  “As you have probably surmised on your own, Cairnsmound is the possession of a great Power.  I intend to bind it to my use.”  Doctor Lewin sucked in a mouthful of smoke and exhaled.

“That much I guessed, but what is my role in it?”  Lord Thurbin gritted his teeth.  He hated to admit weakness, especially to a potential, and several times proven, enemy; but there was no helping it.

“The crux of my plan is a ritual to be performed at my wedding.  I need you to help perform the ritual, and, more importantly, to gather all the specifics of Cairnsmound needed to set it up.”  Dr. Lewin laughed out loud.

“So the rumors are true!  You, of all creatures, are getting married.  I never thought I’d see the day.”  Lord Richard surpressed the urge to snarl.  He’d long nursed a hatred for necromancers, sorcerers, magicians, or whatever idiotic titles mortals gave to those of their number who messed with knowledge and power that was not meant for them.  While he wouldn’t admit it to anybody, particularly himself, this was entirely due to jealousy and fear.  He found the necessary studies and work beneath him, and therefore had trouble comprehending all the simplest of rituals and incantations.  Or maybe it was the other way around.  The idea that a mere mortal could wield power denied him made him seethe, and the possibility that it could be used against him made him tremble.  The fact that that it had been a mortal sorcerer who had trapped Lord Thurbin in his current, diminished, state; and that said sorcerer was beyond any possible vengeance that he could inflict, did not in any way improve his opinion.

“The girl in question is the key to the power we seek,” Lord Richard replied through gritted teeth, “to possess it, I must possess her.  A marriage is just the most expedient way to do it.”  

“And how does she feel about her impending nuptials?”  Lord Richard shrugged dismissively.  

“When has that ever mattered?  What do you say to my offer?”  Doctor Lewin pondered silently for a few minutes, Lord Richard twitching impatiently.  Finally, he replied.

“I will, of course, need the specifics for the ritual.  I will also need time to examine the site itself, if you want the ritual to go as planned.”  

“I will have the materials sent to you tomorrow.  A week from today is when we leave for Raven’s Eyre.  When we arrive, you will have a month to prepare.  Anything else?”

“Yes, a concern.”  Even though Lord Richard’s face was hidden in the shadows, Malachai could sense his eyebrows rise.  “You have a knack for making enemies.  Should we worry about possible trouble from one or more of them?”  Lord Thurbin’s eyes flared red with anger.

“Do you really think I have anything to fear from some insects?  I am mightier than anything that could possibly...”

“You’re not very good at hiding your tracks,” Malachai interjected, “and this ritual leaves us vulnerable to whoever might have an interest in disrupting it, however weak they might otherwise be.  I’m particularly concerned about the aristocrat and the ex-priest who have sworn your destruction.  I’ve clashed with those two on several occasions, and they are not to be underestimated.  Not if you have any sense.”  Lord Richard’s eyes dimmed a little, but still smoldered.

“I have arranged for a distraction on the Continent to throw them off my scent.  You have nothing to fear, necromancer, so long as you fulfill your end of our deal.”

“Just make sure you keep your end, incubus.”  Smoldering, red eyes stared into dark, irreverent ones.  The two pairs of eyes held each other for a moment, then Lord Thurbin turned around and stomped toward the cemetery gates.

“What’s the Power we’re seeking to bind?” Malachai yelled at his back.

“An old enemy,” Lord Richard growled, his voice somehow managing to cut through the noises of the storm, “that’s all you need to know.”  His anger was up, as were several off his vile appetites.  The foul being stormed into the narrow alleyways of the city, seeking a suitable victim.

Malachai cursed at the incubus’ back, then stubbed out his cigarette and turned to retrieve his tool bag.  He had preparations to make.


***

       

Intimidating and, paradoxically, comforting; the towering roofs of Blackwood Hall rose over the hills like a beacon in the setting sun.  As the carriage followed the road to the great hall, the only sounds came from the horses and from the contraption, itself.  The two passengers were content to gaze out the window and silently dwell on their lonely thoughts.

While otherwise a study in contrasts, the two men bore identical haggard facial expressions and mannerisms of bone-deep weariness.  It wasn’t mere physical exhaustion, although that was very much present; but rather the soul-fatigue of somebody who had experienced far mor loss, hardship, pain and horror than a certain measurement of time should logically allow for.

The older of the two men was large; tall and built like an oak.  Though in his early sixties, the lines of grief and hardship on his face made him look much older.  His body appeared to have aged well, but for the disfiguring marks of tragedy; rugged and muscular, with the remnants of a soldier’s bearing that hadn’t quite faded with time and disuse.  Over a thick, bushy, grey mustache, hard, blue-grey eyes glared into the distance.

The younger man was smaller and thinner, practically waifish when compared to his companion; but something in his stance belayed an iron core that completely destroyed any appearance of delicacy or weakness.  He possessed the black hair and sun-darkened skin of the southern Continent, and his face was normally clean-shaven; though the two men had recently been neglecting their hygiene.  Dark eyes, usually kind and open, but now shadowed by grief, stared out the window while he played with a set of prayer beads; seemingly without any conscious knowledge of the item. 

The carriage drove through the impressive, though wide open, gates and to the front door.  Awaiting it was the house’s elderly butler and three boys from the village.  When the carriage stopped, the boys rushed to handle the luggage while the butler approached the two passengers.  

“My Lord Blackwood, it’s so good to have you back home!”  The larger man nodded politely.  

“Thank you, Jenkins,” he said wearily, but with no real emotion.  The butler turned to the second man.

“And Mr. Silvestre, it is an honor to have you with us again!”  Dario Silvestre managed a weary, but sincere, smile.

“Thank you, Jenkins,” he replied in an accent of the Taliano States, “it’s good to be back.”  Jenkins smiled politely.

“Dinner is almost ready and the rooms are prepared.  The boys can handle your luggage.”

“I’m going to take care of the equipment, first,” Lord Blackwood replied.

“Ambrose…” Dario began, but Ambrose just talked over him.

“Please take care of Father Silvestre, I’ll take my dinner later.”  A small part of Dario was tempted to remind his friend that it had been a long time since he was eligible to be called ‘Father’, but he knew it wouldn’t make and difference.  He tried not to sigh loudly as he followed Jenkins into Blackwood hall.

The great house remained impressive despite the years of benign neglect.  The stone lions at the front door, the enormous front hall with its ornaments and portraits, the chandeliers and wallpaper and other details; all declared power, wealth and legacy worthy of a member of the landed gentry.  But a closer look told another story.

The first thing Dario always noticed on visits to Blackwood Hall was the near silence.  After the tragedy, Lord Ambrose had dismissed all but a small handful of the servants.  He seldom visited, himself, and never hosted anymore.  The few times Dario had been to the hall, it always seemed to him that the few human inhabitants rattled about the place like pebbles blown around a large system of caves.  He found the effect both sad and eerie.

A closer look revealed the true state of Blackwood Hall.  Jenkins did the best he could, periodically rounding up locals from the village to clean and do maintenance.  However, the dust and cobwebs never completely disappeared.  Nor did the ever-growing count of cracks and peeling paint.  It was as if, Dario often thought, the hall, like its master, was slowly disappearing a piece at a time.

Once the two men were out of earshot of everyone else, Jenkins allowed his mask of formality to slip a little.  “How bad is it this time?” he asked, concern creeping into his voice.  Dario sighed.

“We tracked the creature to a convent in Galt, one with a large number of young girls in residence.  It turned out to be a distraction, but a particularly nasty one.  He left behind… something; an ally, a servant, maybe even one of his offspring.  I know not what.  Whatever it was, it had the ability to posses the women and control them, to force them to…” Dario shuddered.  Jenkins put a hand on his shoulder, then quickly removed it again.  “We were able to put it down, but the collateral damage it did was horrible.”

“I can only imagine,” Jenkins murmured. 

“No,” replied Dario, “you can’t.  And you should give thanks to God for that small mercy.”

There was a moment of silence before Jenkins asked, “what about the incubus?”  Dario sighed again.

“It took a while, but we picked up his trail.  He took a boat across the Channel to Laudan.  We got in touch with our contacts there, but it will take them a few days to figure out where he went.”  Jenkins nodded, then his mask of formality returned.

“I had Cook prepare dinner; it’s ready in the kitchen.  His Lordship will probably be taking his in the study, later.”

“I’ll help you force-feed him if he refuses to eat,” replied Dario.  The corner of Jenkin’s mouth quirked briefly.

“I do hope it won’t come to that.  I have also arranged for a bath and toiletries so that you can get cleaned up.  Finally,” again, Jenkin’s formal mask briefly dropped, “today I had the chapel cleaned and fresh candles put in.”  Dario felt a warmth that he felt so rarely these days.

“Thank you, Jenkins, for everything.  I really appreciate it.”

“Think nothing of it.”  Jenkins, completely formal again, gestured to the kitchen.  The smell of beef-barley stew made Dario’s stomach rumble.  For a short while, he was able to forget his troubles.  Mostly.


Lord Ambrose Blackwood collapsed into an armchair in front of his study fireplace, a lit pipe in one hand and a glass of port in the other.  He stared into the flames, desperately trying to blot out hundreds of painful memories and horrible images.  It didn’t work.

Fresh on his mind were the most recent series of atrocities.  Just by closing his eyes he could see the possessed nuns; the leering faces, the mouths laughing and screaming obscenities even as the eyes begged for help and release.  And the worst part of it was that it was only the latest series of horrors he had been forced to bear witness to.

Lord Blackwood’s world had ended nearly two decades ago with the visit of a mysterious stranger.  The stranger had robbed him of his wife and daughter, and revelation of the fiend’s true nature robbed him of nearly all his comfortable assumptions about the world.  His long quest for vengeance on the incubus had divested him of the rest of said assumptions; forcibly confronting him with the existence of things long relegated to myth and superstition, and the true nature of humanity and its institutions.  In many ways the latter revelations were the worst; even the military campaigns he fought in the Ind colonies in his youth couldn’t prepare him for the horrors lurking just under his nose in the “civilized” nations.

A knock at the door interrupted his dark musings.  “Go away, Jenkins.  I do not wish to be disturbed.”

“It’s Dario, I have your dinner.”

“Go away, Dario.  I’m not hungry.”  Dario opened the door and stepped into the room.

“Tough,” he said, closing the door behind him.  Dario walked over to Ambrose and set down a bowl of stew and a spoon on the small table beside him.  Dario sat in the opposite armchair and looked his friend in the eye.  “Now, will you eat?  Or will I have to force-feed you like they do puppies?”

After seventeen years Ambrose knew his friend, and that the threat of force-feeding was not an idle one.  He also knew from experience that despite his current lack of appetite, starving himself would only ensure that he would be even more miserable later.  With a sigh, he picked up the bowl and started to eat.

“I still can’t figure out how they were able to excommunicate you.  Your parishioners must have been terrified into subservience, and one would think that your superiors would be too afraid to try.”  Dario chuckled.

“I think it’s because my superiors feared me that they forced me out.  And you know I only resort to crude threats out of compassion.”  Ambrose grumbled something in response, but Dario couldn’t make out the words.  Probably just as well, he could guess what they were.  There was a period of silence as Ambrose ate his stew and Dario settled into his chair.  Ambrose finished and set down his bowl and spoon.

“We lost him.  Again.”  Dario nodded wearily. 

“We’ll find him.  Again.  The bastardo is never able to escape from us for long.

“He has so far.  How long have we been chasing him?  How many years?”

“And how many times have we caught him?  What’s more, he only pulls stunts like the one on the Continent when he’s trying to distract us from what he’s really up to.”  Ambrose perked up.

“What’s he really up to?”

“I don’t know, but whatever it, he thinks we’re a threat to it.  That means we probably are.”  Dario stood up.  “Now, we’re only a few days behind him.  We’ve had worse delays than that.  What’s more, we know he went through Laudan; and he’s very bad about covering his tracks.  When our contacts in Laudan pick up his trail, you need to rested and attentive.  That means you can’t be starved and hung-over.”  Ambrose’s full attention was on his friend.

“The Church of Reme suffered a major loss when they kicked you out.”  Dario gave a small smile.

“God just had a higher calling for me.  Now, I’m going to the chapel to pray before bed.  As always, you are welcome to join me should you so desire.  If not, I suggest you get some sleep and I will see you in the morning.”  Ambrose shook his head.

“Good night, old friend.”

“Good night.”  Dario closed the door and headed for the chapel.  He hoped he would be able to sooth some of his own doubts.

***

The clouds began to clear, enough so that it was possible to catch glimpses of the star-flecked sky.  Occasionally, the waning moon was able to break through and illuminate the lonely road that wound beneath.  Upon the road traveled a carriage, currently the only source of sound and motion in the empty lands it moved through.

Suddenly, the scenery changed.  Like an oasis in the middle of the empty moors, the carriage entered a region of trees and fields.  Even here, despite the recent storm, there was no sound or movement but what came from the carriage.  Not a leaf moved, not a breeze blew.  It was as if the land itself held its breath in anticipation.

At the edge of the fields, the road wound through a small village.  All slept at this late hour, not a spark of light shone in any of the dark windows.  The village ended at a tall hill, the only one for miles around, but the road continued to the top.  At the summit was the building that was the carriage’s destination.

Ravens’ Eyrie loomed over the village from the top of the hill.  An enormous, uneven, mass of additions and architectural styles from several centuries, in the darkness the great hall resembled an organism more than a building.  As the carriage pulled up to the front door, the passenger looked to the eastern tower and saw the eerie, blue flame, subject of hundreds of local ghost stories and fearful whispers, that periodically appeared in its top window.

Three men, an elderly butler and two yawning stable boys, approached the carriage.  The butler raised a lantern.  The driver hastened to open the passenger door, but it was wasted effort.  The door already swung open, and the passenger stepped out without any hesitation.

“My Lady Cairnsmound, welcome home!  It’s wonderful to have you back.”  The butler spoke with the calm, formal demeaner he always wore in public.  Lady Ursa Radcliffe, Duchess of Cairnsmound, gave the house and its environs a brief look around before turning back to the butler and nodding politely.

“Thank you, Carlson.  It’s good to be home.”  She hid her distaste for the man with the ease of long practice.  While Carlson had never showed her anything but the deference owed her station, Ursa always felt a sense of wrongness around him.  The sensation had not diminished any after her long period of absence.  The terror Ursa long ago noticed that the other servants held Carlson in did not help her opinion of him.

“Your room has been prepared and is ready for you.”  Carson turned back toward the hall as the stable boys rushed to get Ursa’s trunks.  “If you’re hungry, have something prepared for you.”

“We stopped to eat earlier,” replied Ursa, trudging as far behind Carlson as propriety would allow, “all I want right now is my bed.”

“But of course, of course.  The next few weeks are going to be awfully busy.  Your Uncle Michael will be here in the next day or two, and your betrothed arrives at the end of the week.  I have heard many good things about Lord Richard Thurbin…”

Ursa let the butler natter on, barely listening as she took in her home.  The entrance, apart from the wooden door, was part of the original building.  Ursa was well versed in her family’s history.  She knew that Raven’s Eyrie had been built as a convent several centuries before King Harry had broken with the Church of Reme, and confiscated all pontiffist holdings.  However, persistent rumors claimed that the convent, in turn, was built over an even older building; a pagan temple constructed long before Reme went anywhere near Alban’s shores.

Despite the additions, remodels, and centuries of attempts to efface signs of its previous owners, Raven’s Eyrie remained somehow pagan; ancient and primeval in appearance.  Mysterious, archaic, pre-Joshuen carvings remained on the stone lintels. Above the door, a remnant from the convent, hovered a stone archangel -nobody had ever been able to agree which one it was supposed to represent- its wings outstretched.

Through the looming portal, Carson’s lantern cast myriad bizarre, misshapen shadows on the floor and walls.  The flickering light was insufficient to grant more than glimpses of the entry hall’s contents, but Ursa could see well in darkness and knew it all from memory: portraits, suits of armor, statues, crests and carpets; the majority of which had been there generations, if not centuries.  Past the hall was the foyer with its strange columns, sculpted into odd, humanoid, shapes.  A remnant of when the building was a convent, if not earlier, most people who aware of the columns said they were supposed to represent saints.  However, a sizable minority countered that they did not resemble Joshuan saints from anywhere in the religion’s history.

As Ursa moved through the house, many details that she had consciously forgotten in her absence came back to her: The many unseen presences she sensed around the edges of her consciousness.  The figures she caught out of the corner of her eye.  The long, winding halls and staircases that Ursa knew for a fact occasionally shifted when one’s attention was elsewhere.  Most of all, the house, itself, as a living, aware, omnipresent entity; one that absorbed all who dwelled there into the complex set of structures and systems that was its body.  Over, under, behind and beside it all was a presence; a ubiquitous sentience that was beyond the concerns of the innumerable lesser individuals who lived in its shadow, but was aware of them when it chose to be.  Ursa had sensed it her entire life at Raven’s Eyrie, but never been able to make any kind of contact despite multiple attempts. 

Finally, they arrived at her bedchamber.  Carlson opened the thick, wooden door, which allowed the glow from the fireplace to spill into the hall.  

“You have a new maid assigned to you,” the butler told Ursa, “I can’t recall her name.  She has set your room up for you.  She is in the maids’ room next to yours, so just pull the rope when you need her.”  Sounds of physical exertion reached their ears, and the stable boys appeared with Ursa’s trunks.  They brought them into the bedchamber, then left to seek their own beds.  Carlson turned to Ursa before following them.  “Goodnight, my lady.”  Ursa closed her door behind the butler, relieved to finally be away from him.

Her room was exactly as she remembered it.  It was a large, stone, chamber insulated from the cold by the heavy curtains over the window, carpet on the floor, and ancient tapestries on the walls.  The many furnishings, old and baroque, remained exactly as they had been months before.  The one exception, Ursa noticed without surprise, was that someone had removed the more “inappropriate” of the books she remembered placing on her shelf.

Ursa took a small lantern from her bedside table and lit it from the huge fireplace; its stony hearth carved into fantastic beasts and its iron screen comprised of strange, abstract shapes that put curious notions at the edge of one’s thoughts if scrutinized for too long.  The new maid had done well building the fire, Ursa noticed; she doubted it would need any refueling before morning.  Pulling the curtains on the four-poster aside, Ursa noticed that the maid had also laid out a nightgown and placed a warming pan.  She glanced at the pull-rope and decided to leave the poor girl to her rest.  Ursa was more than capable of handling her bedtime preparations without help, and she knew the following weeks would be exhausting for all of them.

Ursa undressed and carefully placed her clothes so that the servants could easily fetch them in the morning.  Then she slipped the nightgown on and sat down at the vanity.  Ursa’s hands went to her hairpins, and auburn locks flowed down to her shoulder blades.  As Ursa took the brush to them, she studied her face in the mirror.  

It was a pretty face that leaned a bit toward striking.  Large, hazel eyes flecked with green sparkled with wit and intelligence.  They gleamed out of an oval shape, just over a prominent nose.  The cheeks were a little high, and her features had a slight sharpness.

Ursa stood, still brushing her hair, and studied her figure in the nearby full-length mirror.  While Ursa lacked the idealized curves she knew gentlemen wanted, she was no waif, either.  Likewise, she was without the “hour-glass” waist proper ladies were supposed to possess; her whole life having fought viciously not to allow her corsets to be tightened beyond her comfort.  For her twenty-one years of life she had been able to pass of her refusal to conform to uncomfortable fashions as merely one of the “eccentricities” that were reputed to come with her bloodline.  Now, she found herself a little worried.

What would Lord Thurbin think?  Ursa had never met the man, never even heard of him before she received the letter from her Uncle Michael about their betrothal.  She’d had no say in the matter, of course, which she greatly resented.  All Ursa’s life it had been difficult to work around her myriad guardians -her parents, when they were alive; her uncle, when they were not; numerous nannies and governesses; the boarding school- and pursue her “unladylike” interests.  Now she would have a husband to placate.

Ursa knew that, should she fail to please her husband, he had recourse to other outlets once she bore him an heir.  In fact, she knew more about those outlets, and the desires they satiated, than most would consider healthy for her.  She was also entirely too aware of the fact that, as a woman, she could not legally own any property.  Everything would go to her husband, and he was well within his legal rights to divorce her and throw her out without anything should he so choose.

Ursa finished brushing her hair and tied it up, sighing.  It was late and she had traveled far this day.  These were concerns for tomorrow.  Ursa extinguished her lamp and lay down in bed.

After an uncounted amount of time trying to quiet her mind enough to drift off, Ursa opened her eyes and noticed a shape forming in the flickering shadows.  At first she dismissed it as her imagination, but the shape became more solid and strode toward her.  Frisian overtook Ursa as recognition came: it was the Bleeding Nun, the most feared and infamous specter of a notoriously haunted dwelling.

Initially, the figure seemed shrouded completely in its midnight black habit and wimple.  A closer look revealed numerous tears in the fabric; each covering a gash or stab wound that poured rivulets of crimson blood.  The blood gathered in ghastly puddles on the floor which disappeared after a few minutes.  

When the specter stood over Ursa’s bed, she could see the Nun’s face.  Her left temple had been crushed, and nearly the entire left side of her face was darkened with bruising.  The Nun’s jaw had been dislocated, and when she opened her mouth to speak Ursa could see a great many missing and broken teeth.  The Nun’s voice was completely unaffected by the deformity of her mouth.

“You have returned to us.”  Ursa smiled for the first time that night.

“How I have missed you.     

        

    

   

   


Sunday, December 2, 2012

Tartarus






Tantalus stands eternally
Up to his neck in a pool
Of the freshest, purest, clearest water ever
His head shrouded in branches
Weighed down by the most luscious, delicious fruit imaginable
He hungers and thirsts
But whenever he tries to quench it
The waters recede
And the branches bend out of his reach
The things he most needs and desires
Forever inches from his face
Yet just beyond his grasp

Sisyphus sweats and struggles
Expending all his strength and energy
To get an enormous boulder
To the top of a hellishly steep hill
Only for it to roll back down again
Sometimes on top of him
He was once a mighty king
Renowned for his cleverness
Once he cheated Death
And briefly brought the gods to their knees
He knows it is a meaningless and impossible task
But the gods insist
He must get the boulder to the hilltop
So eternally he struggles
And little by little
More of him is worn away

The Danaids are tasked
With fetching enough water
To fill a great basin
The way to the stream is long and hard
And the jugs they use heavy
But the jugs all have holes in the bottom
So that no matter how hard they try
They never get ahead

Ixion is strapped to a wheel of fire
That spins eternally
With each rotation
The flames burn his skin
The blood rushes to and from his head
The vomit to his throat
With each rotation’s beginning
He prays for change
With each rotation’s end
He despairs
For he ends exactly where he began

Friday, July 13, 2012

Mermaid





It was about sunset when Robert first saw the mermaid. All the day’s work was finished, or at least his share of it; which meant the sailors were willing to leave him alone. Robert used the solitude, as had become his habit, to gaze upon the endless waters that kept him trapped on the stinking prison of a ship.

The first thing he saw was her beautiful, oddly greenish-tinged hair, fluttering in the wind. Robert wondered if it wasn’t some kind of ocean plant; but then her head popped up, followed by the rest of her. The mermaid’s skin was so pale it gleamed like moonlight in the dusk. Her woman’s torso was wonderfully curvy, with the perfect amount of flesh in all the right proportions. Her tail was a sea green that gleamed almost as brightly as her human skin. The mermaid rose, dove back under, then rose to the surface again and floated on her back. Her head darted back and forth as she took in the ship.

Robert watched the mermaid gamble in the ship’s wake and wondered if he was starting to see things. The sailors frequently discussed men who saw mirages and hallucinations after being at sea for too long. The lack of women on board definitely provided for his current vision, if vision it was. Robert never had any interest in the majority of ways the sailors employed to relieve that lack; and he had resorted to his hand so often that it no longer had any real effect.

I’ll take it, Robert decided. After all, he reflected sadly; if he was stuck on this horrible voyage then he should take whatever little bits of pleasure he could, even if it was from something that wasn’t real.

Robert’s self-pitying reverie was interrupted by a loud splash and a laugh like a tinkling bell. He was shocked to see the mermaid staring straight at him. Even from a distance, Robert knew that the eyes staring at him were dark and glittered with mischief. Her face, practically glowing in the last dying rays of the sun, was that of a young girl; with a perfect blend of exotic features to make it the envy of the finest courtesans. When the mermaid saw that she had Robert’s attention, she caught his eye and quirked her lip in a half-smile that was both wicked and alluring.

Robert leaned over the rail and stared. The mermaid laughed delightedly and beckoned to him. Robert was entranced and leaned further. He wondered if he dared go overboard. The mermaid laughed again and splashed playfully. Suddenly, a loud voice rang out and caused Robert to turn his head; the bosun alerting the alerting the crew that it was almost time for the ship’s lanterns to be put out. When Robert turned back, the mermaid had disappeared.


Robert woke at dawn to the shouts of the bosun, and made haste to get up before he could be kicked to his feet. He still had some painful bruises from the last time that had happened. As Robert joined the rest of the crew in the morning tasks, he tried to ignore the agony from the tears in his hands, and the healing gashes in his back from when he had been whipped for disobedience.

“Well if it isn’t Lord High and Mighty himself.” The words were punctuated by Billy the bosun’s reeking breath in Robert’s face. “I guess you can do honest work after all, you just need the right motivation.” Robert tried to focus on the rope he was tying off and resist the urge to say something or make an obscene gesture. Billy was a cruel man who loved enforcing discipline. Everyone hated him, and nobody wanted to get on his bad side. When Billy saw that he wasn’t going to get a response, he punched one of the wounds on Robert’s back; and walked away laughing as Robert involuntarily collapsed in agony.

Robert was not on the ship by choice. He had been walking home one night when someone snuck up behind him and hit him over the head. When Robert woke up, he was onboard and the ship was already out to sea. Captain John made it clear that everyone aboard his ship, willingly or not, worked. When Robert tried to refuse, it was Billy who happily used the whip. Robert quickly decided that it was easier to follow orders.

Robert frequently found himself wondering if he had somehow died and gone to Hell. He hated the ship; the lack of space, the smell of all the men crowded onto it, the agonizing work followed by the long periods of equally agonizing boredom, the nausea of the first week, and the fact that Billy had taken a disliking to him. Worst of all was the fact that there was no escape from any of it.

Finally, the morning tasks were completed and the men gathered around the galley for their breakfast. Robert’s stomach churned at the thought of the hardtack and salt pork; he had grown sick of it after only a few weeks. Nevertheless, he had learned from hard experience that it was a better alternative than starvation.

As Robert found an out of the way corner and started to force the horrible food down, his thoughts turned to the mermaid. Had he really seen her last night? Would he see her again?


She surfaced behind the ship roughly an hour before sunset. Robert wasn’t sure how long he had been waiting, and was overjoyed to see the mermaid again. She, meanwhile, flashed Robert a delighted smile of recognition when she saw him at the rail.

Watching the mermaid splash and play in the waves below, for the first time in months Robert found himself smiling. I guess that’s one good thing, he thought to himself. Robert hated everything about the ship and what he was forced to experience on it. Still, at that moment; the opportunity to experience what he was currently experiencing almost seemed to make it all worthwhile.

The time seemed to go on forever, and yet passed way too quickly. When Robert heard Billy’s voice yelling that it was almost time to put out the lamps, he knew he had to go. He didn’t want the rest of the crew to find out about the mermaid. When the mermaid saw that Robert was about to leave, she gave him a pleading look and gestured for him to come to her. He smiled and shook his head.

“I can’t,” he said quietly, “not tonight.” From the tilt of her head, she seemed to understand. Robert raised his hand in a reluctant goodbye. The mermaid smiled and returned the gesture.


That night Robert had a wonderful dream. He leapt overboard into the waiting arms of the mermaid. She laughed and took him far away from the ship that had long replaced the fires and pits of Hell in Robert’s imagination.

The details of the dream were indistinct but pleasurable. Robert felt love and desire for the beautiful creature with him. He beheld wondrous vistas he only knew from books and stories. Above all was a sense of freedom; of release from a huge and terrible weight forever dropped. The sudden, hard boot to Robert’s side hurt all the more for taking it away from him.

“Wake up you lazy sluggard,” Billy shouted, “you’ve work to do.”


Aching and exhausted, Robert stumbled to the rail. Over the last few days the work had gotten harder. Worse, Bill seemed to take a special interest in making Robert particularly miserable.

Robert had only two escapes from the agony his life had become, brief and transitory though they were. The first was the wonderful dreams he continued to have, where he received all that he truly needed and wanted. Robert both longed for and dreaded the dreams. He longed for them because they were the only times he was happy these days; but he dreaded them just as much because they made waking up that much more miserable.

Robert’s other brief escapes from mister were the nights at the rail with the mermaid; who continued to follow the ship and show interest in him. As soon as Robert slumped over the rail, she popped her head up and made gestures of joy and excitement at his presence. Robert gave her a tired smile.

“I’m glad to see you,” he said quietly. He began telling her about his day. As usual the mermaid never spoke, but she listened and showed sympathy. The opportunity to tell his troubles to a sympathetic ear made them see less unbearable, if only for a short while. The warning for lanterns out came too soon, and sent a ripple of irritation and despair through Robert.

Pleadingly, the mermaid gestured to Robert not to leave; to jump overboard and go to her. “I’m sorry,” Robert said, shaking his head sadly, “I can’t.” The mermaid smiled sadly and waved goodnight. As Robert settled down on the spot of deck where he slept, he thought about all the miseries of life aboard the ship and wondered why he didn’t do it.


“Will wonders never cease? Is Mr. High and Mighty actually soiling his delicate hands with honest work?” On his hands and knees, Robert tried to focus on scrubbing the deck and ignore Billy’s insults. He knew Billy was trying to pick a fight, and that it would be worse for him if he rose to the bait.

Unfortunately, ignoring Billy wasn’t going to work today. When he saw that Robert wasn’t going to react to his insults Billy kicked his wash bucket partway across deck, soaking Robert in the process. Robert breathed hard to steel his resolve, wiped the stinging suds out of his eyes the best he could, then walked over to the bucket and started scrubbing again without acknowledging Billy.

Billy stomped over and kicked Robert in the side so hard that he rolled across the deck and slammed into the rail. Gasping in pain, Robert pulled himself up. He caught a glimpse of the mermaid swimming beside the ship and made his decision. “I’m done with this shit,” he told himself. Robert turned to face Billy.

“Well now, does the little ponce want to make a fight of it now?” Billy mocked. While Billy’s words were confident, the look on Robert’s face provoked a note of uncertainty in his voice. With a snarl, Robert threw himself at Billy.

Thrown off balance by the suddenness of Robert’s attack, Billy hastily threw his hands up to protect his head and torso. Robert used the distraction to land a kick on Billy’s kneecap. The knee didn’t break, unfortunately, but the blow was hard enough to cause Billy’s leg to seize up and collapse from underneath him.

As Billy fell, Robert followed up with a series of blows to his face. One blow hit his mouth, and Robert could feel the teeth crack; one hit his nose, and Robert felt it flatten; and one blow landed squarely in Billy’s left eye. Billy screamed and writhed, clutching his mangled face. Robert stomped down, hard; once on Billy’s stomach and three times on his groin. Then he kicked him mercilessly until several sailors managed to pile on him and drag him away from Billy. After a struggle and a few bruises from their fists, Robert calmed down.

“What is going on here?” Captain John’s furious voice rang out.

“’e done attacked Billy,” one of the watching sailors answered. The Captain glared at Robert, and the sailors holding him down hesitantly let him get to his feet.

“Billy wanted a fight,” Robert told the Captain in an unusually calm tone, “I merely gave him what he wanted.” The Captain’s expression grew colder.

“Nobody assaults an officer on my ship,” the Captain said. “You will be whipped at dawn as an example. We’ll see where your attitude gets you then.”

“I look forward to it,” Billy snarled through a mouthful of broken teeth. He staggered to his feet and glared at Robert, his one remaining eye burning with hatred. “When I’m through with you, you won’t have any flesh on your ribs.”

The crew went back to their tasks. They didn’t bother to lock Robert up; what was the point? Where would he escape to? Robert was aching and exhausted, but he felt a strange exhilaration as well. Whistling a cheerful tune, Robert walked to the rail at the back of the ship and looked out. Sure enough, there was the mermaid.

With a delighted shout, Robert jumped over the rail and landed in the water. The mermaid enthusiastically swam toward him, and equally enthusiastically they embraced. In her arms as she drew him under the water, Robert felt the happiest that he could ever remember being.

His joyful mood was interrupted when he noticed that he couldn’t breathe. Gently, Robert tried to remove her arms from him so he could swim to the surface, but they wouldn’t budge. Desperately, Robert tried harder, and then with all his strength. The mermaid’s arms were like iron bars and he couldn’t budge them an inch.

Deeper the mermaid took him, Robert struggling to escape so that he could get some air. He could see the blackness of the deep ocean, and shuddered in dread. Suddenly, Robert felt a sharp pain as his lungs exploded from the water pressure. Before it all went black, the last thing Robert saw was the mermaid’s broad grin, revealing a mouth full of fangs. Happily, she began to feast on the corpse.

While Cruel Gods Laugh (a poem)

While cruel gods laugh
And dangle hope before their victims on a string
Bright and beautiful it shines
Here is what you want
Here is what you need
Here is escape
Here is that someone you have longed for
Here is a better tomorrow
Here is health
Here is happiness
It hangs in front of your face
Just within your grasp
All you need to do is reach out
It will be yours
But as soon as you think you have it
The Gods pull the string
Up it flies
Beyond your reach
No longer obtainable
And the gods laugh
For hope is just an illusion
A cruel joke of the gods
To break your spirit
And wound you deeply
When once again you realize
That what you almost had
Is now denied to you

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Gilgamesh (a poem)




Alone I travel
King without a kingdom
Two parts god and one man
I who have slain two servants of the gods,
Who have traveled the wilderness
And climbed the mountain that touches heaven and hell
I who seek immortality to console myself of the loss of my friend
Alone I travel
Through the tunnel guarded by the deadly scorpion men
The tunnel through which the sun travels by night
Through the darkness I wander
Fear, the scorpion men said I would find here
Fear and pain
And finally, despair
In the oppressive darkness that obscures all light
The shadows take strange shapes
And I hear sounds
What lurks here? What horrible entities dwell in the darkness?
Fear I feel
The darkness is cold, bereft of any warmth
In the darkness I am unable to see the obstructions in my path
Pain I feel
I start to wonder whether I’m not dead
I wonder whether I am not in the underworld
Are those shadows not dead princes, feasting on clay?
Is that wind by my ear not a dead soul, who becomes like a fragile bird?
Despair I feel
Then, in the distance there is light
Faint light, far off light
Hope I feel
The light grows bright, the darkness less oppressive
I am at the tunnel exit
A wide new world stretches before my eyes

The Homecomeing





The dark clouds contrasted strongly with the festive mood of the crowd. Yellow ribbons and American flags flapped in the rising wind, the high school band played an off-key rendition of The Stars and Stripes Forever. A loud cheer sounded as the airplane pulled onto the runway.

John hated crowds, and had not wanted to come. He felt particularly out of place with the people in attendance. If it weren't for his conscience John would have walked away, but he had come for Martin. John was all Martin had left.

After three years Martin Page, John’s best friend and roommate since high school, was returning from the War a hero. John had barely heard from him in all that time. He had mixed feelings; and worries about what, exactly, his friend was coming home to. John shivered, pulled his coat tighter and wished that he was back home.

John’s stomach lurched as the soldiers exited the plane. One serviceman after another stepped onto the runway to be greeted by family and friends. Although they all looked exhausted and worn, each serviceman perked up, if only just a little, to fall into the arms of a loved one. Finally a man stepped off the plane alone, with no friends or family waiting to greet him. It took John a minute to realize that this was Martin.

Martin had changed. Like the other personnel he was sunburned, weary and slightly hunched over, as if the weight of the world pressed down on his shoulders. His blond hair was bleached almost white by the sun, and his stance lacked the easy, good-natured confidence that used to carry him. But John got the sense that something else was missing; intangible, yet vital. In fact, John could not shake the feeling that there was very little of his old friend standing in front of him; that there was very little of anything even remotely human in that Martin-shaped mass of flesh.

“Martin!” Martin smiled, or tried to. John remembered Martin having a wonderful smile that charmed everyone who saw it. The one he presented was barely even a grimace, a feeble imitation of what John recalled. When John met his friend’s green eyes he saw that the spark of mischief and life that used to light them was gone; the once-bright orbs now burnt-out cinders. Martin stepped forward and gave his friend an awkward, uncomfortable hug; as if he had forgotten how to do it properly.

“It’s good to see you, man.” Martin’s voice, like the rest of him, was off. While the words were warm the tone was emotionless, as if he were simply reciting them. “Thanks for coming.”

John forced himself to smile. “Of course, it’s good to have you back. Shall we move out of this crowd?” Martin nodded. As John elbowed his way through the crowd, Martin briefly grabbed his shoulder to stay with him. His grip tightened in a desperate hold before letting go. John silently breathed a sigh of relief and immediately felt guilty.

“I understand they’ve arranged something special in your honor. Our home town has a hero now.” Martin started.

“I don’t want to stay.” There was weariness in Martin’s voice, but nothing else. “Please John, just take me home.” John gave up even the pretense of being at ease.

“Sure, whatever you want.” He led Martin toward the car.

They passed a serviceman with his family. The man recognized Martin and, smiling, gave him a cheerful salute. Martin did not return the salute, but simply looked at him. For the first time John saw something in Martin’s eyes and expression that was not the disconcerting emptiness. John could not put a name to it, but it was unpleasant.


The ride home was every bit as awkward and uncomfortable as John had expected. The Martin John remembered would have talked; would have, in fact, been impossible to shut up. He would have been eager to relate all of his experiences and adventures; chattered on to no end about the most inconsequential details in a way that made them seem significant and fascinating.

The Martin who had come off the plane did not speak unless directly addressed, and only in the shortest possible replies. The rest of the time he sat in a silence that spoke volumes. About what, though, John could only try to guess. He did try.

“What’s the first thing you want to do now that you’re home?” Martin took so long to respond that John wondered if he had even heard the question.

“Sleep.” John waited for more, but it was not forthcoming. He tried a different tact.

“Have you heard from anyone else?”

“No, you?”

“I bumped into Mary at the grocery store last week.” John let a little of the emotion he felt about the subject slip into his words. If Martin noticed, he did not show it.
“How is she doing?” As with the rest of Martin’s speech the words were there, but completely emotionless; meaningless sounds.

“She sounded like she was okay.” John did not mention the notes of sadness and fear in her eyes when she talked about Martin. He also did not voice the unasked question of why they had ended their engagement. This took much effort; wasted, because John had never been subtle at the best of times. Nevertheless, Martin said no more on the subject. Surprisingly, it was he who next broke the long silence.

“Did you go to the funeral?”

“Of course. I’m sorry you couldn’t get the leave to attend.”

“Well, I’m glad that at the very least you were there.” There was almost a spark of warmth in Martin’s voice. John managed a sincere, though small, smile.

“It was a large turnout. Your parents were greatly loved by the community.”

“Car crash?” Any hint of emotion once again disappeared from Martin’s voice.

“That’s the story. There was a really bad storm and apparently the breaks weren’t working. The medical report says they died almost instantly.” Martin said no more, and it was silent for the rest of the drive home.

For the third night in a row John had trouble sleeping. He had tried everything he could think of, but none of it worked. Finally he got out of bed and moved restlessly about the apartment.

John tried to juggle, work on a short story he was in the middle of writing, and proofread the finished draft of another. He even popped in one of his favorite movies; but turned it off when he realized he was not paying attention. Nothing could drive away the dark thoughts that whirled in his mind.

John was worried about Martin. He had hoped that being at home would revive a little of his old spirits, but Martin was as dispassionate and emotionless as ever. The first two days home he sat in his room and never came out; John knew because he had stayed in the living room and tried to write. All offers of food were rebuffed, and John wondered if Martin would starve.

On the third day, Martin left early in the morning without a word. There was a difference, but John was not particularly sure he liked it. Martin had a trace of his old energy, and a sense of purpose. He walked with a discomforting intensity, and his stance reminded John of a time when he had watched a cat stalk a mouse. When Martin returned he had walked straight to his room, passing John as if he was not there, and not coming out again.

John put the movie away; but he paused in turning off the television when he saw a breaking news story about a familiar looking street. He looked closer at the screen; yes, it was a street which he had driven down many times. According to the reporter, a family of four had been found brutally murdered in their home only two hours prior. The husband was a soldier who had returned the same day as Martin.

John sat and half-listened to the announcer describe the victims, the conditions of the bodies and signs that they had been tortured; but his mind was focused on the photographs shown. Something seemed familiar, but he could not place it. Finally, he turned off the television and went to bed, his mind still struggling with why he felt he should know them.

It was not until the next morning, when John looked at the newspaper headlines about the murder, that he remembered. Visions came to mind of four days prior, when he and Martin had left the airfield. John remembered a cheerful salute directed at Martin and a smoldering, enigmatic look given in return. John shuddered as a dead soldier, whom he had seen alive that day, smiled off the front page at him.


“How did it go?” John looked up, surprised, from emptying his pockets. In the past three weeks since Martin had come home he had shown little interest in, or even awareness of, John. As the days passed John became more and more convinced that he was rooming with a stranger.

“It went okay; I may get a second date. Where have you been all day?”

“Around.” John had not expected a straight answer, so Martin’s evasiveness did not put him off. At least, not in and of itself; but something about Martin put John on edge these days. He silently reminded himself that this was his best friend he was speaking to.

“I was thinking that tomorrow, after the ceremony, I could buy us dinner to celebrate.” Martin looked at him for a moment, his face unreadable.

“I appreciate the thought, but it won't work.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you eat since you came home.”

“No, I don’t have much appetite these days. At least,” Martin’s smile mixed his old humor with the unpleasantness that seemed to have infected him, “not much appetite of that sort.”

John avoided the easy bait. “Is it because of what you saw in the war?” He let some of the love and concern he felt slip into his voice. Martin looked confused, and something else that John could not identify, although he felt that he should.

“You could say that. You’ll be there tomorrow?”

“My best friend is getting the Medal of Honor and the president, himself, will be presenting it. I’m just sorry I can’t see it, but I’m definitely going to be at the presentation the city’s throwing for you.” Martin still looked confused.

“I thought you were against the War.”

“I am. I can still show pride in your accomplishments, can't I?”

Martin once again gave John that enigmatic look and silently stalked back to his room. John sighed and flopped down into his favorite chair. He was far beyond being worried. Having never been to war himself, John could not imagine what Martin had gone through. All he knew was that something had changed his friend.


It only got worse the next day at the ceremony. John was seated in the front row, but unable to appreciate it due to his dislike of crowds and wearing a suit. The rest of the crowd was not any more at ease; there had been more murders.

The city government obviously hoped the event would help people forget about the murders for a short time, and just as obviously it was not working. For weeks now, the discovery of victims had become a regular occurrence. Just the week prior, John heard that a couple down the block had been found. The police were quiet about the condition of the bodies due, some said, to government pressure; but according to rumor they had been waterboarded and died of drowning.

The government had reason to be worried, John reflected grimly. The stories about the conduct of certain military and government personnel overseas were blood-curdling enough. The fact that the local murders seemed to reflect them did not help any.

The audience rose to applaud the mayor as he sauntered out onto the stage. He gave a speech, but John only heard bits and pieces; his mind was on Martin, seated at the back. Martin seemed even more repellent than usual, if that was possible. Everything about his expression and posture radiated unholy satisfaction.

John’s eyes moved to the individuals seated with Martin; city council members and top commanders from the base. Something was wrong with their posture, and it took John a minute to realize what it was. All of them were leaning as far away from Martin as they could without seeming to. John wondered if Martin noticed; considering his difficulty reading people, he could not be the only one who saw it. A glance at Martin confirmed it; he not only noticed, but relished it.

The mayor finished speaking; “and now, our own homegrown hero, Second Lieutenant Martin Page!” Nobody could miss the way the mayor’s smile strained as Martin came forward, or the involuntary step back he took. Something in the emotional mood changed as Martin approached the microphone. John heard muffled gasps from the rest of the audience, and noticed the woman next to him shuddering in fear. Martin smiled at the audience; a smile that should have been charming, but instead chilled the blood of all who witnessed it. Then he spoke.

The speech itself was not unusual; John had heard countless disposable speeches just like it extolling heroism, patriotism, giving service to One’s Country and “protecting Her from Her enemies.” Martin's speech was equally disposable, but something gave a very different slant to the words.

Martin discussed patriotism, and John felt nameless dread. He talked about service to one's country, and somehow John's mind pictured truly unthinkable deeds. Martin mentioned heroism, and John' mind conjured images of broken bodies, screams of agony, and blood-spattered graves. After it ended, the crowd simply stared with fear-glazed eyes and white, bloodless faces. When somebody finally did think to applaud, it was tentative and uncertain.

Martin smiled victoriously and surveyed the audience; but his expression changed when he looked at John. Their eyes met, and for a minute Martin’s face was completely blank. Then the unidentifiable emotion John had been getting from Martin for weeks crossed his face, and he quickly looked away. John finally recognized it; fear. Martin was afraid of him.


John did not watch the award ceremony on television, although he heard plenty afterwards. Nothing untoward had happened at the ceremony itself, aside from the ever-growing crowd of protesters outside the White House; but the event seemed to have struck a wrong note with all who witnessed it. All reports of the ceremony carried a strong undercurrent of unease, although no specifics were given.

The interviews with Martin did not help matters any. He dropped oblique hints that were, nevertheless, enough to suggest actions that were horrible beyond a peace-activist’s worst nightmares. Some reporters started putting Martin’s words together with the earlier hints and stories about the war; and in general it left a bad taste in the publics' collective mouth.

John noticed that there were not any murders in the time Martin was out of state. He was not the only one; officials from the local police, base command and federal government all stopped by to ask him pointed questions about his roommate. The police detective politely asked, and the military and government reps subtly tried to bully, John to keep quiet about it. They said that nothing was happening, that their visits were routine procedure; but John sensed their fear.

John rarely saw Martin since his return from Washington. He got the distinct impression that Martin was purposely avoiding him; the few times they crossed paths, Martin’s fear of him seemed more intense. Martin never even spoke if he could help it, but tried to get away from John as quickly as possible. Despite Martin’s behavior and his own growing suspicions, John found himself becoming more worried for his friend.

There was reason for suspicion; almost from the day Martin got back the murders started again, more frequently and increasingly more brutal. According to the news media the victims showed even worse mutilations than before, along with signs that they were alive while the atrocities were committed. Body parts went missing, with no rhyme or reason to what was taken. One victim might miss a finger or toe, the next a limb or organ. The police, of course, refused to give details; but the haunted look in the chief’s eyes at a press conference made it impossible not to believe the stories.

Worst of all was the killer’s elusiveness. Logic and reason dictated that due to the increased police vigilance, ever-growing groups of citizen volunteers, and the murderer’s own blatantly grotesque activities, that he should soon slip up and be caught. Unfortunately, logic and reason had nothing to do with the situation. It seemed supernatural how this individual was able to get access to even the safest-seeming people and then disappear, with only their mutilated remains to mark his passing.

The awful mystery reached its peak with its most horrible discovery. The nude, mutilated, headless body of a twelve year-old girl was discovered, early one morning, in a trash can located very prominently at the center of town. People whispered that the man who found her had to be hospitalized for shock. It took three days for the police to identify her, finally matching her to a missing person’s report. During that time the equally mutilated body of a three year-old boy was found. And then, John inadvertently cracked the case.

It was nearly noon, and John had managed to resist the twin lures of solitaire and the Internet long enough to finish typing a second draft. Proud of himself he headed for the shower, only to stop when he noticed the red mark on Martin’s bedroom door. It was a thumb print, and somehow John knew it was blood. He first noticed the stench when he reached for the doorknob, but the full brunt hit him when he stepped into the room. John almost gagged, and he just barely managed to steel himself for what he knew he would find.

It appeared that Martin wanted to be found out. In an evil joke, a severed forearm poked out from under the bed, hand arranged to point at the closet. When John opened the door, he found an obscene sculpture made of all the other missing body parts. The girl’s head formed the centerpiece. John slammed the door shut, trying desperately not to vomit. Through his horror and nausea John suddenly realized that he was not surprised; nor was he scared, at least, not for himself. Not even when he sensed Martin’s presence behind him.

“Now you know.” Martin stood in the doorway. At first he seemed all his old confidence and recent malevolence. However, John noticed that when he turned and looked Martin in the eye, it was Martin who flinched and turned away. John stepped forward, and Martin took an involuntary step back.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to report you to the police.” Martin smiled.

“Please, that is what I want you to do. But first, I have something that you and they will find interesting.” Martin picked something off a shelf; a shoe box, John saw, and spilled its contents onto the bed. They were photographs of the victims. John only spared them a brief glance.

“Martin, what happened to you? What turned you into this?” A strange look crossed Martin’s face; a weak ghost of what could have been sadness and regret.

“A great many things, John, including some that only you would be able to believe. Sadly, I cannot tell you everything right now, as it’s not the right time. All I can say is that most of it was my choice.”

John tried to move toward Martin as he spoke, but Martin seemed anxious to avoid any kind of contact. Martin backed toward the front door and gave John an enigmatic look.
“The police can’t catch me here; that would be too convenient. When they arrive, tell them I’m at the park down the street.” He all but ran from the apartment. John stood in shock for several minutes before he remembered the phone.


The following weeks were one long, nightmarish blur for John. The media, of course, jumped all over the capture of the killer and the revelation that he was a decorated war hero. John grew sick of constant ambush with camera and microphone, finally losing his temper and creatively threatening one particularly obnoxious reporter. The press kept their distance after that, but never went away entirely.

As a key witness, probably the key witness, in the case; John had to meet daily with what seemed like every member of the local law and military. John told them all he knew, which was not much. They still had an easy time building a case against Martin; not only did they have all the evidence from his room, but he was willing, nay eager, to give details. There was also the matter of one of the policemen who had arrested him, whose face would never be the same again.

Suspiciously, the military and the executive branch tried to keep things as secret as possible, for all the good it did. They tried to keep the military trial secret, but the judiciary would have none of it. The trial date was scheduled; pretty quickly John thought, considering the magnitude of the case and all the legal wrangling going on.
John only tried to visit Martin once during all of this. Martin refused to even enter the visiting area; he took one panicked look at John and ran the opposite direction. John endured strange looks from several terrified guards, but Martin refused to come back and talk to him.

The day of the trial arrived and more conflicts came up. First several members of the military and government tried to ban the press from the courtroom. Then they tried to restrict the testimony of several witnesses. Word leaked out that they even tried to prevent Martin from testifying entirely.

The trial was foregone from the beginning. Martin’s lawyer only made a few tenuous arguments, and Martin rolled over them every time. After the first few hours he stopped trying. It seemed Martin wanted to be found guilty.

He certainly spared nothing in describing the atrocities he had committed in the past few years. Martin told, in loving detail, about government mandated tortures he had performed on prisoners; dogs, humiliation, beatings, electric shock, waterboarding, sodomizing with objects, dismemberment. He laughed as he talked about how he and some of the other interrogators, having come to enjoy inflicting pain, stalked civilians in their free time. Martin described what they did to the ones they caught, whether it was the tortures they used on the prisoners or other, worse, atrocities. He told about how the brass knew of these extracurricular activates, and tried to hush them up.
Finally, Martin got to the victims in his home town. He mentioned each one by name and made sure to look straight at their families while he spoke. He very thoroughly described their last living moments.

Martin was interrupted many times; by government and military personnel, by grief-stricken family of the victims, by shocked onlookers. Each time he would pause until it was quiet again, then continue as if the outburst had not happened. He spoke casually, but with an obvious pride in the grief and misery he caused.

Almost no time was taken to decide on the death penalty. Martin’s lawyer did not even try to appeal. When the verdict was read applause filled the courtroom. Martin did not seem at all upset; if anything he was rather smug.


John tried to ignore the scared looks from the prison guards and look Martin in the eye. Martin was not cooperating. He had only agreed, reluctantly, to speak to John after John had told the guards it was the only way he would leave. However, he merely sat quietly on the opposite side of the glass. John grew sick of waiting and spoke up.

“Damn it Martin, I want to know how it happened! How did you become like this? Martin gave him an enigmatic look.

“You always were too damn curious for your own good.” John crossed his arms, silently refusing to be sidetracked. Martin shook his head.

“The army put me on this path; from the beginning they teach you to obey without question. When we were sent overseas they never missed a chance to tell us what scum the people we’d be dealing with are, and how we were doing a great service to America and the world.

“I wanted to believe them. I kept telling myself that America, and by association, I, was doing the right thing.” All this time Martin spoke in an emotionless fashion, but something unreadable suddenly passed over his features. “You were right about the war.” He reverted back to his emotionless delivery.

“A part of me kept saying I was doing wrong, especially since we were doing what can only be described as torture. I started small; morally shady treatment of people whom I could believe deserved worse. Gradually our methods got more severe, you heard it all at the trial. Not long into it I was well aware that most of these people had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. The moment of truth came when I realized that I couldn’t rationalize anymore, that I was actually enjoying it. I looked forward to it.”

“Is that everything?”

“No, but it’s all I’m saying right now. Maybe one day I’ll tell you the rest.” Martin got up and turned to go.

“Wait!” John shouted, “at least tell me why they were so eager to shut you up.” Martin looked over his shoulder.

“Isn’t that obvious? They created a monster, then lost control of it.” His evil laughter echoed out of the room and down the corridor.


John felt obligated to attend Martin’s execution. The turnout was enormous, but from Martin’s attitude he could have been exonerated. Martin only spoke once, and that was to admonish the men administering the injection to get on with it when they hesitated.
Strapped down, waiting for the chemicals to take effect, Martin looked triumphantly over the crowded room. He locked his gaze with every face present; gave a leer of ultimate victory that caused the onlookers to tremble. It was only when he met John’s unflinching eyes that his expression briefly changed, reflecting everyone else's horror.


Three months and two gruesome murders after Martin's execution, a pall of fear remained over town. The police searched desperately for copycats, but these proved as elusive as the original killer. The citizens did not believe the reports of copycats; they maintained that Martin had returned.

The theories were many. Some claimed Martin had escaped. They said the government had faked his execution and leaked the photos of his corpse to cover it up. Others said that Martin had returned from the grave. A few whispered that Martin Page had never been human; that he was some demonic being who could not be killed.

Something stalked the town at night; everyone could feel its presence. During the day it was easy to scoff at the wild stories; but when darkness fell, even the most hardened skeptics glanced over their shoulders. Many people claimed to have seen Martin lurking in the shadows.

John was restless. While he could also feel the presence, he did not fear it. Quite the opposite; whatever it was seemed to go out of its way to avoid him. On a suspicion, his nights on the increasingly empty streets became a hunt for the force that lurked in the darkness. Finally, one night found him in the park where Martin had been captured. The presence was in the park with him. It did not move, but simply waited.

“Martin,” John yelled, “I know you're here, and you know I won't leave until we talk. Now show yourself!” Martin stepped out of the shadows.

At least, it looked like Martin; but the resemblance ended there. Everything else; the stance, the movements, the emotions, suggested an inhuman predator. Something unnaturally malevolent and hungry.

“What do you want?” Martin's tone was confident, even dismissive; but John saw that he kept a safe distance.

“You promised to tell me the rest.”

“I did. If that's all, I will tell you. But that's it, don't seek me out again.” There was almost a pleading note to his words.

“I have become something from one of your horror stories. I don't know what, all I know is that it began in the interrogation rooms. Somehow, I began to feed off my victims' fear. The more they feared me, the stronger I became.

“For a while I was torn. I knew what I was turning into. Part of me was scared and ashamed, and tried to fight it. Another part sought to embrace it. The part that enjoyed it started to win. I broke up with Mary when I was still human enough to worry about harming her.

“When it became clear I was going to lose the battle, I made a heroic gesture in the hopes that it would redeem my memory; and that the insurgents could accomplish was I was afraid to. Ironically, they only killed the part of me I was trying to save. I cannot die, not as long as I am feared. That little farce with the police has ensured my immortality.”

“So why do you fear me?” John asked. Martin grimaced.

“Because you do not fear me.” A part of John realized that this was true, that he had known it all along. “I only have power over those who fear me.” Martin laughed mirthlessly.

“The war cost me my parents, most of my friends, and Mary. For a long time you were the only thing connecting me to what was left of my humanity, but even that couldn't last.”

John reached to his friend, but Martin fled. John thought he heard a soft “good-bye John” before Martin disappeared into the darkness.

John, saddened for his friend, reflected on what Martin said. Fear was what kept him alive; maybe John could use that. Maybe he could write Martin's true story; let the world know who Martin was before the horrors of war destroyed him. Ideas formed as he headed home to his computer.

But another thought made its presence known; it could not be just Martin. There had to be others. Who would free them? John knew that thought would keep him awake for a long time.